How Not to Cook

Scalloped Potatoes and Ham is a dish my mother made, and that I liked, that I have not yet learned to cook. I found a half ham, sliced, on sale at the grocery store this week, and now I need a good recipe. Good is the operative word. You can easily find 100 recipes in a minute. But wait till you read them.

"Add one box of [brand name] potatoes." Box??

Instant potatoes came around in the 50s, along with Kraft Dinner and Tang. These things were marketed to housewives coast to coast as a way to "forget about the drudgery of cooking." My mother never liked cooking very much - it was obvious to me even at 10 - and she tried every new convenience product on us that came along. If she could get us to eat it we had it over and over. Instant potatoes were on my short "This Sucks" list. Fortunately her Scalloped Potato dish recipe called for real potatoes.

"Add one can of Cream of Mushroom Soup." Don't.

We learned to eat canned food at times when it was the only food available. Later we learned that all those added chemicals probably would not kill us. I cooked with canned soup until I was old enough to want to know what those mystery chemicals were. When I found out, I didn't want them anymore. I especially don't want any MSG.

Where do you think MSG comes from? Do you think it comes from a mine, like salt? Or maybe you think it comes from a tree. Actually, it comes from a chemistry lab. People say, "It's salt, right?" MSG tricks your brain, people. Salt doesn't do that. MSG is suspected of being a carcinogen. Salt is not. You can read about MSG, if you want to.

The web is very democratic. The voice of the artist and the voice of the imbecile are equal. Don't trust every recipe you read.

Don't trust Paula Deen either. Not only does she exaggerate her drawl, but she cooks with canned junk food and claims it is "Southern." I know better than this.

Just use real food, that's all. It is not expensive. It is not difficult or time consuming to prepare. Just read a little bit. If you are not willing to do this you disrespect yourself and dishonor those you feed.

Cook right.